Your stories of having premature babies
Premature birth is a common and serious health problem that affects families up and down the UK. Over the past year, families have been kind enough to share their stories with us to help raise awareness of premature birth.
We lost our daughter at 9hrs old. She was born at 27+1 and weighed 1lb 6.5oz.
Would you like to use this drawing (FINGERSattached)? A colleague drew it for me, based on a photo of me holding Frankie in my arms about an hour after she'd died. She only wore a dress when she was dead :o( She'd just had a loose nappy and a knitted hat whilst she was in NICU. I really would have liked to have dressed her in a nappy and little white tights under that dress :o) You just want to keep them warm and safe (silly!).
I've written an information sheet on loss, not necessarily about premturity, but some of it might interest you. I wanted to prevent other bereaved parents having regrets like me. I was (and still am) most upset that I was denied the opportunity to bring Frankie home - I was told it was illegal (it's not) and even my funeral director said, if I'd called him and told him I had a dead baby at home, he'd have called the police. All I wanted was for our daughter to spend one night in our house in her moses basket. Instead, she stayed in the morgue and family couldn't visit her. Aside from that "issue", the bereavement care was FANTASTIC.
I have nothing but praise for the NICU staff. I don't even care that I had to travel 70 miles to get there, that there was no space in my local hospital 10 miles away, that my husband commuted 1,000 miles in 7 days to visit me whilst they stalled labour. All we cared about was that there was someone who could (try to) save our baby's life, we'd have travelled the earth to achieve that.
I think, unless you've been there, you think that the shortage of space is down to lack of funding for equipment. But in our experience, they told us it was down to shortage of staff - the burnout and turnover rate is enormous, most staff there only lasted a year. They had the equipment, but cot space was limited (to 5 I think) because they only had the staff to handle 5 extrememly premature babies at a time. They truly were wonderful people and I thank them with all my heart for giving us 9 hours with our daughter. I know that in Spain, they don't consider babies under 27 weeks (I was admitted at 26+1 and she was born at 27 plus ONE HOUR!).
Anyway, if you want more, please let me know. I could talk for England about her, about that time, about the 22 months since and how I still cry for her.
Pauline
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